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As of yesterday, it's exactly one month more of my school holidays. How I dread it. Oh well. The most is that I get really really bored. Haha!
Today started off quite bad. I keep getting a bad feeling. Probably it's coz I'm thinking again? Maybe. Oh well. Went quite early to church today for dunno what reason, just went early. I was in service. I hardly listened. Yea. All I know is that the preacher was talking something about volunteering to teach, and how simple the real truth about life is. Anyway, I was sitting in the last row, behind vicky's dad, he's tall so I couldn't see the front. Ok, that was random. Yea. I realise that I have begun worrying for nothing again, I have done my trademark move, again. Which is to turn my back on Jesus. That is bad. I didn't rely on Him. I kept thinking I could do it all by myself, and then keep questioning why I have no real friends who are there for me. In real fact, they are there, and that I'm just so blinded. A lot of pain hath I caused myself just by believing in that lie.
At that moment, the song, Exchange by Parousia, came to my mind. Actually, not the whole song. Just 2 words from the chorus.
Inexplicable Joy
I knew I had that before. I'm very sure I felt it deep within me before. It hit me. Where did it go? Well, it didn't go. I left it for something else. I forgot this joy that only comes from knowing Jesus. I'm running back.
It's my trademark move, to turn my back on You. Sometime, soon after that, you'll see me come crawling back.
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