Finding Me

I went out into the world this yesterday morning. I went out to the world to find myself again. Somehow everything in this world just doesn't seem as purposeful as it always has been.

I played for service. I didn't feel the same passion when I started off. I don't know why I am doing anything any more. I find no purpose. Talked to you today too. Didn't go as bad as I thought it would be. I have to get my mindset right on that. Yea. Anyway, later went out for lunch then came back to church. Then after that met shawn at where he worked. Yea. I stood there and talked to him for like 3 hours. 5 to 8pm. Then Lizhen and Yena came. Went for dinner then went to watch The Break Up at Cine. Suppose to watch See No Evil lar. But don't have. Oh well. The guy in the show is really stupid lar. When you watch then you will know what I mean. Yea. Went home after that. So late man.

That's about it for my day. But behind all this, all I'm trying to do is to get crazy just to forget all the stupid mistakes I did to you. Keeps raging in my mind. That's why I stayed out the whole day, good thing my friends could go out too. But then again, why am I chasing this temporary high that I get from you? or from the craziness when I'm with my friends? I know life is difinately more than that. But yet I still live that way.

Well, I'm home now. Almost starting to think about things again. I was viewing photos at ClubSNAP again. Some guy posted pictures of COSI Children's Village, it'san orphanage just outside Phnom Penh, Cambodia. The Ting Family went there too last year. Yea. Anyway, this photographer's pictures are so good! I really love them. They really make me want to keep looking at them. Yea. You can view all here. But the photo that struck me the most was this.

It's really reminds me that I need to pray. A lot. To pray pray pray. Remember those times when you were a kid? When parents or church teach you how to pray? Place your hands together, close your eyes, bow your head. Yea. Then later in life you learn to kneel in addition to that. Yea. The point is that I don't see myself doing that. I really need to do that. Pray.

Science has proven that we can live approximately 72hrs without water, Spiritually, you can only live a few minutes without hope. The Lord is my only hope.