A Matter of Trust

Music: United Live - From The Inside Out

I thought I had forgotten already, but my subconcious mind still remembers, and it reminded me last night.
At around this time last year, I was reminded of Proverbs 3:5-6.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

This year, I am reminded of it again, but for some reason, I am still filled with doubt. I want to trust Him, but I'm afraid of letting things go. I'm afraid that if I keep letting go, I may in the end just lose everything. How hard is it to trust? Really Hard. To trust an invisible being. To know He is there, but you can't see that He's there. It's the same kind of situation for last year and this year, and I still can't fully trust. Teach me, Lord, to trust in You.

A heart in Java

Music: -

If my heart could be expressed in Java code, I would. It would then be easier to express. Then my words wouln't need to go wrong.

import java.util.Scanner;

public static class myHeart
{
public static void main(String[] args)
{

String emotion, subconcious, concious;

emotion = subconcious + concious;

System.out.println(emotion);
}
}

By The Tree vs Falling Up

Music: By The Tree - How Beautiful You Are

Went out with Shawn, Lizhen & Ben for dinner. Went Clementi. (: The usual stuff. Eat, talk cock. (: Yea. Those are what you call fun times man. Just simple and nice.
Anyway, I have been listening to World On Fire by By The Tree (View previous post), and I realise that they are much better than Falling Up. They are really good. Their songs have more meaning in it. Yea. If you have not listened to it, go and listen. I changed the song again. How Beautiful You Are by By The Tree.

By The Tree

Music: By The Tree - World On Fire

Another great artist! (: By The Tree, with their new album World On Fire!

It's really good. Love it too. They are a bit like Switchfoot. Yea. Though not as good, they are still good. I wish I had their older albums though. (:
Anyway, speaking of Switchfoot. They released their new single yesterday. The song is titled, Dirty Second Hands. (: It's nice. :P Can't wait for their new album coming on the 26th of Dec, thats roughly 88 days and 20 hours away.

DOA

Music: Switchfoot - Dirty Second Hands

I just watched Dead or Alive. Haha! Not bad. Yea. A lot of action. Devon Aoki is pretty lar. Haha! But she got the dao kind of pretty. :P She acted in The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift also. Everyone, go watch it when it comes out in Singapore. :P Haha! Anyway, thinking of switching to Blogger Beta. Has some new functions, but all my old post will be gone. Oh well.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday James!

Falling Up

I just found another good artist! Like Number One Gun, Falling Up is good, yet not famous, yet. Well, they did make it bigger than Number One Gun. Haha! They are really rock style. (: They are a christian band, by the way. I just got their latest album, Exit Lights.

It's a remix of their previous album, Dawn Escapes. They added a bit of electronic to a few songs though, but it's still fantastic. (: Here's one song from that album,

Fearless (250 and Dark Stars) feat. Trevor Mcnevan.

Bored

Music: Mogwai - We're No Here

I just watch Stealth again. And I'm really bored at home. :P Anyone want to o2jam? Haha! Nothing better to do. Haha!

Jehovah Jireh

Music: Casting Crowns - Beautiful Savior

Crosslink had BBQ today. It was quite fun lar. (: I really have to say God provides. He provided the right people at the right time. I am indeed thankful. What a great God is He. Anyway, went out with lucy, elroi, favian & leonard after that. Went to United Square. Talk cock lar. Damn funny lar. Found out a lot of stuff also. Then this elroi suddenly bought 20 piece nuggets from macs. Haha! Siao. Haha! Oh well. (: Tomorrow should be watching movie. (:

A great sense of peace.

Shows Shows

Music: -

Yesterday went out with Yena and Rachel. (: Fun fun. :P Cycle, eat eat eat. Wanted to swim though, in Rasa Sentosa Resort. Haha! but got chased out even before we got into the water. And chased away not by the lifegaurd, got chased away by the woman giving out towels. Haha! So stupid. Oh well. Later went to eat dinner, lizhen also came. Yep. (:
Anyway, CSI is back! Season 7!! Time to download again. I started downloading My Name is Earl and The Office also. Nice nice. So many shows again. (:

Shows:

CSI
Bleach
My Name is Earl
The Office
Full Metal Alchemist
And all the other movies

Beautiful Letdown

Music: United Live - Til I See You

Back to where I first began, but with a few loses. I'm all too familiar with this. It's like a trend. I'm gonna break it though. To break that trend. (: At least I'm at the end of this cycle.

Change is a risk
especially in our society
It's a risk to put yourself right on the edge
but that's what it takes
There's so many things I wanna see change in myself
And on this planet
That's what these songs are about

The beautiful letdown
Is the idea that sometimes
It takes the painful things in life to change us

When our world falls apart
And we have no more faces left to wear
That's where these songs start

Jon Foreman - Switchfoot
From Switchfoot Bio-Video

This is your life

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you've got now..

This is your life, are you who you want to be


The Beautiful Letdown

It was a beautiful letdown
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone, unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful letdown...

In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt
I was trying so hard to fit in, fit in
Until I found out
That I don't belong here

Needless to say, I have crashed and burned again. But I'm not sad, angry or depressed. I guess it does take the painful things to change us.

Layout change

Music: Hillsong Music Australia - Angels

Finally, after a long time, I made another skin. I kept getting stuck at 1 stupid CSS layout code. Oh well. Manage to find a way to overcome it, but I still don't fully understand it. Oh well.

Was out yesterday with classmates. Yea. There was one point when we were talking about something, then Yena said that she felt that she has really let go. It reminded me of what is totally letting go. Haha! I guess it's another reminder for me that there is that joy I've found. (:

Error Encoding

Music: -

Sorry for the weird version of "As the deer". :P I encoded it wrongly. Yea. Now it's fixed. For people who heard the error one, like belly, sorry. :P haha!

Redemption

My fears have worn me out.
I've got my hands, at redemption's side
Whose scars are bigger than,
These doubts of mine.

Trademark

Music: Relient K - Wake Up Call

As of yesterday, it's exactly one month more of my school holidays. How I dread it. Oh well. The most is that I get really really bored. Haha!

Today started off quite bad. I keep getting a bad feeling. Probably it's coz I'm thinking again? Maybe. Oh well. Went quite early to church today for dunno what reason, just went early. I was in service. I hardly listened. Yea. All I know is that the preacher was talking something about volunteering to teach, and how simple the real truth about life is. Anyway, I was sitting in the last row, behind vicky's dad, he's tall so I couldn't see the front. Ok, that was random. Yea. I realise that I have begun worrying for nothing again, I have done my trademark move, again. Which is to turn my back on Jesus. That is bad. I didn't rely on Him. I kept thinking I could do it all by myself, and then keep questioning why I have no real friends who are there for me. In real fact, they are there, and that I'm just so blinded. A lot of pain hath I caused myself just by believing in that lie.
At that moment, the song, Exchange by Parousia, came to my mind. Actually, not the whole song. Just 2 words from the chorus.

Inexplicable Joy

I knew I had that before. I'm very sure I felt it deep within me before. It hit me. Where did it go? Well, it didn't go. I left it for something else. I forgot this joy that only comes from knowing Jesus. I'm running back.

It's my trademark move, to turn my back on You. Sometime, soon after that, you'll see me come crawling back.

Best, yet Worst

Music : Relient K - I So Hate Consequences

I got my results for Sem 1. Here it is.

Yea. It's good! I haven't gotten this kind of results since primary school. Yea. Oh well.

Todays party was crazy. Hope you like it Beatrice. Your friends were really crazy. From that whole day play gameboy guy to the quiet girl. Haha! yea. Oh well. Didn't go as smoothly at first, but in the end was quite ok. Yea. Val helped me with the games. Super tiring lar.

Happy Birthday Beatrice

Now what?

Knowing

Music: Hillsong Music Australia - All The Heavens

Knowing that I was 2 days too late doesn't help.
Knowing that I, alone, is sustaining this whole thing doesn't help.
Knowing that you probably won't care doesn't help.

Knowing God has planned something does help.

Party! or Partaye (Vicky's way)

Music : A1 - I'll take the tears

Crosslink was ok today. Oh well. After that went to Concourse to buy party stuff for party with val and her family. :P Beatrice, you better like your party. Haha! Oh well. Shall not say how much was spent but it was quite a lot. Haha! Oh well, later went for dinner. Ate so much lar. Feel paiseh. hehe! but very full also. :P Anyway, it was a fun day in the end.

Smile like you mean it

Injured

Music : Relient K - The Theif

Skated the whole day yesterday. It was like blasting all my engergy. Yea. I've got an injured left shoulder, injured right wrist, injured left shin & knee, slightly sprained right thumb, and stomach muscles damn pain. Oh well, and later still went out till about 130am. I'm nuts. Pushing too much already.

First Day Work

Today was my first day of work in Raffles Hotel. It was tiring not because got a lot of work. It was tiring because I was just standing around most of the time. Oh well. I would rather have do data entry or just work at a store but it's better than nothing. Oh well.

The Lord always provides. (: Even though it's not always what I want, but I know He will provide what I need. Thank You, Lord.

Just for your sister

Woke up and I'm still aching from the skating 2 days ago. Ouch. That's what happens when you don't excercise for some time then you suddenly skate for half a day. lol! (: Pass you the things you wanted today. Some how I dunno why I'm doing it. Sometimes it feels like you are only talking to me coz of the thing we are suppose to plan together. But then again, seeing your smile seems to make all that don't matter. All these won't last though, I just hope what I imagine is not true.

Soul slayers, Skating & Something else

Wanted to blog something but I forgot. Oh well. My whole body is still aching from skating. That day skated so long. Yea. Crosslink today was ok. Yea. Nothing much happened. val's mom sent me home after that. lol! I mean like, oooooookkkkkkkkkkk. Oh well. Gotta start finishing the game planning for the birthday party. Yep.

You know I don't really care whay people think, always has been rumours about me this and that. Yea. It's just the way it is.

I hope it doesn't end like the way I imagined.

Friendships

I typed a whole lot on "Friendship". But I deleted it. Maybe people shouldn't see it.

Silence again.

Finally along again. :P The day before stayed at shawn's house with ben. Then Yesterday shawn stayed at my house. Now to appreciate silence again. (: